it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
