I must be too annoying 4 u.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
