I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
