can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you traded sex for a burrito?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
