you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
