So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize