Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize