I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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