Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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