I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
