Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
