She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
