It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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