Welp...herpes.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
