your thong is hanging out like whoa
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
