he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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