Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
