Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
