I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
do herpes really smell.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
