mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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