It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
