what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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