I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize