I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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