I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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