after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
