Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
