...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
