so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm both gender and math confused
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
