I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
