Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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