with your own penis?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
