I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
