I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
