You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize