Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
