we're blogging at a bar
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
