were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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