OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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