I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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