Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize