she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize