She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
