It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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