oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
