My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
