the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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