dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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