Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
