i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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