Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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