somebody snuck up and got me drunk
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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