what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
