you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
