Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize