May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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