HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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