This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize