so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize